"Still amused by prank phone calls"

This has been a concern of mine for quite some time now: am I honestly mature enough to be a high school teacher? Ever since I decided to become a teacher, it's a thought that has been in the back of my mind. Now that I am preparing to student teach at Floral Park Memorial, I'm kind of nervous that the answer is no. This fear was confirmed when an 11th grader I was observing there told me to watch my language. I mean I didn't say it to him, and all I said was "hell", and I know he was teasing me, but still... not good foreshadowing huh?

I think I'm having too much of a problem letting go of my teenage years, which is pretty sad. Observing at FPM made me realize how much I miss high school, how much I miss being a kid: an obnoxious, rebellious, silly, care free, and reckless kid. When it hit me that I would be student teaching at FPM by next semester, I realized a terrible problem of mine - I still act like a kid.  And no, I don't mean this in a positive way. I don't mean this in a "forever young" or "young at heart" type of way. You know that song "What's My Age Again?" by Blink 182? Yeah, I mean it in kind of that way. I mean it in the "that's what she said", "your mom", blasting Eminem and rapping along, doing drive-bys with water guns, and drinking in public kind of way. I mean it in the stupid and irresponsible kind of way. Sometimes I don't know what's wrong with me, it's like I'm not over high school - I'm in denial of growing up. Being an "adult" in the "real world" is not only scary, but ultimately it seems boring. So there I admitted it, not only am I a baby but I'm immature. 

However I have grown up in some ways. In high school I was a master slacker, but I eventually learned to value my education. I still procrastinate like there's no tomorrow, but I actually do my work and put effort into it. I'm no longer a 16 year old girl who's scared of looking like a nerd, or dork, or geek - in fact now I wish I was one. For the last few years I've been slacking on my slacking, I mean if I hadn't I wouldn't be in grad school right?  I just worry that my sense of humor, things that amuse me, and my interests aren't as profound as they should be you know? Sadly and embarrassingly I don't follow politics or really pay attention to the news, but I can tell you how many times Ronnie and Sam broke up this week on Jersey Shore or what outfit Lady GaGa wore to the VMAs. My sense of humor is crude and inappropriate things make me laugh... a lot.   

So how do you act 22 going on 23 anyway? And how do you do it while still having fun? More importantly, how do I go into a classroom of students and expect them to respect me as an adult and an authority if I can't act like one? How can I get them to take me seriously as an educator? How can I motive them to be responsible and prepare them for the "real world", when I myself am still adjusting to the "real world"?