"I was scared, tired and under prepared...."

So because I'm terrible at coming up with titles I usually title each blog with lyrics that remind me of what I intend on blogging about. I do this because it is often how I deal with most thoughts I have floating around in my head or events that happen in my life - I automatically relate it to music. Anyway, today the title of my blog perfectly explains how I felt about taking my last and final teaching certification exam, the CST. Unlike the experience of taking the LAST and the ATS-W, I have this terrible feeling that I will most likely be re-taking the CST.

While I don't consider myself anywhere NEAR a literary genius, I did graduate with a Bachelors in English with a concentration in Literature. So when I opened the book to study for the CST I expected the practice questions to be somewhat easy for me. Well I was completely wrong! The sample questions were difficult and I spent a decent amount of time trying to familiarize myself with the format of the test, the types of questions, and the material that would be on the test, however for this type of test cramming information would be useless so I tried not to stress too much and opted to go to bed early the night before the exam. The next morning for whatever reason even when I began the test at 8:15am I was still half asleep. In fact I was so tired that I took off my sweat shirt and took the exam in a spaghetti strap tank top hoping that feeling cold would help me stay awake. As I was reading the test questions I felt myself not paying attention and not caring, all I could think about was leaving and speeding home to my nice comfy bed. Some where in the middle of the test I felt myself  completely stop caring, I tried a bit but ultimately I felt that I was too under prepared for this exam and will have to re take soon.

Although I admit that I was not as prepared for this test as I could of been, I definitely think that having to use my brain so intensely at such an early hour on a Saturday was a huge part of my ability to take the test. Not only did it cloud my thinking, it completely demotivated me even when I knew that it was the last and final test I would have to take for certification AND that I paid $80 just to take it.